It's Unisex
by ThatOneAnimagus
Summary: After hearing the name Elvendork in Diagon Alley, James enlists the help of Sirius to convince Lily that it's the perfect name. One-shot with an attempt at fluff.


"Lily," the messy haired, bespectacled man said suddenly, "I've been thinking about their name."

The redhead turned her head from where she was scrambling some eggs on the stove. "We've decided on Harry if he's a boy," Lily said with a smile, "and Minerva if she's a girl. We don't need any other names."

"Maybe not," the man said, "but I was thinking-"

"Merlin, what have you come up with this time, James?" Lily groaned.

James grinned. "Well, I was Diagon Alley the other day, and I heard this group of people use this one name, Elvendork. It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"

Lily laughed. "What kind of a name is that?"

"A good one," James said eagerly. "A really good one."

"We're sticking with Harry and Minerva," Lily said resolutely.

"No, but listen!" James insisted. "Elvendork is a brilliant name."

"Convince me of that and it'll be their middle name, assuming that they're a boy," Lily said.

"No, but that's the best part. It's unisex!"

"It's…. What?"

"It's unisex. It means you can use it for-"

"I know what it means, James," Lily sighed.

"Brilliant. So you'll be fine with that being their first name-"

There was a knock from the door.

"That'll be Sirius," Lily said. "We'll talk about this later." She turned off the stove and went to get the front door.

"What did I miss, Flower, dear?" a man's voice asked from the front of the house. "It's been so long-"

"It's been a day," Lily said flatly.

"Exactly," Sirius said cheekily. With that, he strode into the kitchen.

"Sirius, you have to help me," James said as the dark haired man made himself at home at the kitchen table.

"What's the problem, mate?" Sirius said, grinning. "She hasn't been giving you too much trouble, has she?"

"I have the perfect name for our kid," James began explaining, but was cut off.

"I thought their name was going to be Prongslet," Sirius said.

Lily hurried to grab some plates for the eggs. "That's even worse than Elvendork."

"Elvendork?" Sirius asked.

"It's a good name," James said solemnly.

"I've heard that it's unisex," Sirius said in the same rational tone.

"It is," James agreed, "but Lily here refuses to use it as an option."

"With good reason," Lily muttered.

"Unless I can convince her that it's a worthy name," James said. "Padfoot, you're one of my oldest friends. Will you help me with this worthy pursuit?"

"Of course," Sirius said. "Anything for Prongs and Prongslet."

"Prongslet," Lily said, exasperated, "is not what we're calling-"

"You're right," James said. "It'll be Elvendork."

"You aren't going to give up, are you?"

"No."

"Bugger. Well, if you'd like to do your plotting with some eggs, they're ready. I've got to go in, Dumbledore wanted to talk with me about something." Lily set a plate of eggs before each of the men and gave James a short kiss. "I'll be back later and we'll finish this."

James returned one in kind. "Alright. I'll see you after."

Lily left the kitchen. A moment passed before the front door shut, then the men began to talk again.

"So this is Operation Elvendork-Prongslet?" Sirius clarified.

"Yes, it is," James nodded.

* * *

An hour later Lily had returned and James and Sirius had their argument ready.

"So," James said, looking to Lily. She was seated at the kitchen table looking thoroughly amused. "Today we have decided to explain why Elvendork is a good name."

Lily smirked.

"Our first reason is this chart of the most popular names this week," Sirius said, passing her a small piece of paper.

"'Most popular names: Sirius Black, Prongslet, Elvendork," Lily read, "Minnie McG, Alberta, and Merlin's-Saggy-Left…. Right, I'm not finishing that one. Where'd you come up with all of these?"

"It's simply the view of the public," Sirius said with a wink.

"And our last reason," James said seriously, "it that it's unisex. Therefore, there would be no disappointment, should they be a girl and we'd have to change their name, or vice versa."

"Those," Lily said after a moment, "are the worst arguments I've heard in ages. James Potter and Sirius Black, you two disappoint me."

"Never, Flower," Sirius said, pretending to be shocked. "How could we ever disappoint you? We would never betray you in that way!"

"Their name will be Harry or Minerva," Lily said, "and that's final. Nice try."

"Lily," James implored, "It's _unisex_."

"James," Lily implored, "It's _not happening_."

"We tried, mate," Sirius sighed. "I guess it's Prongslet now."

"It is not Prongslet!" Lily argued, laughing.

"Of course it is. That or Prongs Jr," Sirius said.

Lily shook her head. "You two…."


End file.
